


How to save a life

by rosalina2124



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 07:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20738534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalina2124/pseuds/rosalina2124
Summary: When Zach has a suicide attempt,will his family and freinds be there for him when he needs them the most??? Warning mentions of suicide attempt. Step one: you say we need to talkHe walks, you say sit down, it's just a talkHe smiles politely back at you,You stare politely right on throughSome sort of window to your rightAs he goes left and you stay rightBetween the lines of fear and blameYou begin to wonder why you cameWhere did I go wrong?I lost a friendSomewhere alongIn the bitterness andI would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeLet him know that you know bestCause after all you do know bestTry to slip past his defenseWithout granting innocenceLay down a list of what is wrongThe things you've told him all alongAnd pray to God he hears youAnd pray to God he hears youWhere did I go wrong?I lost a friendSomewhere alongIn the bitterness andI would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a life





	1. Chapter 1

The feeling of a cool hand carding through my hair causes me to stir as I realize it’s just mom and I relax. I’m in the hospital,the last place I want to be,but I need to be here for better or for worse. I tried to commit suicide last night,I didn’t succeed,thankfully. Life became too much,between Dad’s death last summer,and this knee injury,that has now ended my football career forever,I just had it,and I did it. I overdosed on pain pills, mom suspected something was wrong when she came home from work,and I was already home,normally I’m at practice,watching now that I can’t play,but I was in pain yesterday,so I came home early,not letting her know,she’s too busy anyways to care. She came upstairs,and found me passed out in bed,she was understandably scared and called 911. I was barely breathing by the time they got there,but they got me back,got me on oxygen. They got me to the hospital,and pumped my stomach,got me stabilized,I woke up in the ER,panicked,I didn’t think I would make it,but I did,if she hadn’t come home I wouldn’t have,but I did.I know she’s so disappointed,she lost her husband,,and now she could’ve lost me too,it would’ve been too much,she could’ve lost her golden child,not that I’m sure I’m so golden now,and the man of the house as well. 

They moved me to the psych unit late last night,and got me comfortable,they did have me in restraints for awhile,but finally decided this morning that I was OK to not have them on. I’ve been sleeping a lot today,tired,mom’s been in and out as as she can, and I know she must be waking me because the doctor’s here to check on me,see how I’m doing. “Easy Zach,it’s just me Mì táng,the doctor is here”she murmurs softly, calling me an old nickname she hasn’t used in a long time,as much as we speak English,Chinese creeps up in our conversations sometimes. “OK Mama”I murmur softly as I see the soft light come on so she can see me better. The doctor is a woman,she has long blond hair tied back into a ponytail,stunning blue eyes,she’s young. She introduces herself as Dr.Jen,she’s the replacement for the other doctor who went off shift a few hours ago. “How are you feeling today Zach honey”she asks gently as she comes over to me,grabs my wrist gently to take my pulse. “OK I guess,just sleepy”I murmur softly,”That’s normal after what you’ve been through,are you in any pain”she asks gently as she notes my pulse,and places a thermometer against my temple. “A little bit,my knee hurts”I murmur as she notes my temperature.  
“OK,I’ll take a look at it alright,how are you feeling emotionally”she asks quietly,I know she has to ask,but it’s the elephant in the room,it’s the one thing I don’t want to talk about but I need to. “Better,weird,I’m kinda in shock,like I can’t believe that I tried,I’m glad I didn’t succeed”I murmur,being honest,that’s really how I’m feeling. “That’s understandable,we’ll keep you here for a while,get you stabilized and on meds,we’ll also try to get the issue with your knee resolved alright”she murmurs softly as I nod,too tired to say anything. I know that I have to be here for awhile,and I’ve accepted my fate,and I’m ok with it,I need to get better,for myself,for mom. I let her take a look at my knee,she manipulates my leg,and determines the issue. “It’s a little swollen,I’ll give you some pain meds in your IV,that will at least make you comfortable,then I’ll go see about getting a x ray alright”she murmurs softly as I nod. I let her do the iv,she starts a new bag with morphine,then she’s done and she leaves,leaving me and mom alone. 

“Mom”I murmur softly, “yes Mi tang”she murmurs softly, “are you mad at me”I ask softly,needing to know the answer. “Of course not baby, I’m glad your here,and that I got to you in time,it was scary and is scary,but what matters is your here,and we’ll do what we can to get you better right”she murmurs softly placing a cool hand on my cheek. “OK Mama”I murmur softly, “now get some sleep alright,I’ll be here,we’ll talk some more when your not so sleepy alright”she murmurs softly kissing me on the forehead. I nod,and she helps me get comfortable,and before I know it I’m out like a light again,the last thoughts on my mind being of how we’re going to get through this,if things we’ll ever be the same again,and how I’ll cope with the aftermath of everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
The feeling of a cool hand rubbing my back causes me to take in a breath as I realize it’s just the nurse and I try to relax. It’s late,and mom went home,no choice,early morning meeting,plus May has school,and I just got sick a little bit ago,started feeling nauseous. I’m having a bad reaction to the morphine,which is what happened last time,when I first came to the hospital with my knee. As soon as I felt like throwing up I pushed the button,so the nurse could come tend to me,and she has,I started throwing up about the time she got into the room,and she got a bed pan in front of me. It’s Alex’s mom,which I’m OK with,I trust her,I know she’ll take good care of me as needed. “Easy honey,it’ll be alright,we’ll get you taken care of,I’m thinking your having a bad reaction to the morphine,if they had read your file they would’ve known”she murmurs,partly to herself,she knows about what happened last time,and she knows if they had done their job this wouldn’t be happening. 

I nod,too tired to say anything,I’m just done with everything tonight,it’s been a toughie. I woke up a few hours after I fell asleep,and we had to have that conversation,the one we’ve been avoiding in our own way for awhile. A lot of things came to light,a lot of ugly things,bad things,but we had to get it out in the open,it was the elephant in the room. She found out tonight that I’ve been in more pain physically than I’d like to admit,and that I’ve been hiding it from her,and that I’ve been feeling depressed off and on since dad died,and that this knee injury and the end result of not bieng able to play football,brought it back again. She took it better than I would’ve thought,she was upset I didn’t tell her sooner,but why would I,she hides her emotions,I’ve never known how she felt after dad died,and every time I tried to admit I was sad,she’d brush it off. The only one who knew something was off was Jess,I had a break down about a week ago,it was dad’s birthday,and mom didn’t acknowledge it, stoic as ever. I got to school,somehow kept it together till lunch,but she had a sense something was wrong,and asked me if I wanted to talk. I agreed and went out to the quad with her,for privacy. We talked,and I finally lost it,I cried,it’s hard to be vulnerable,with her,and when Hannah was alive,with Hannah,it was different,they get me on a different level than the meat head guys. She hugged me,comforted,supported me,in the way I needed. I’ve never gone to May with these things either,she has enough going on,she doesn’t need to carry my burdens as well. She was here with mom earlier,and she managed to get her to leave,so she have some time with me alone,to talk,and calm me,there was some tears involved when all the ugly stuff got brought up.

I finally finish puking,and she puts the bedpan on the counter,then comes back over to me to get my vitals. “Shh sweetheart,it’s ok, I’m going to get your vitals alright,then we’ll get you cleaned up,and get you back to resting alright”she murmurs, “alright Mrs.Standall”I murmur softly as she cards a hand through my hair,comforting. I let her get my vitals,I’m doing OK now,my heart rate was up when I started puking,but it came back down now that I’m not. Then she helps me clean up,and then she’s done. She gives me some water,then helps me into the chair for a moment so she can get the bedding changed from the puke. Once she gets them changed,she helps me back into bed and tucks me in. “Get some sleep honey,I lowered the dose of the meds,it should help make you not so sick, just press the button if you need anything”she murmurs softly fiddling with the iv,adjusting the dosage. “Can you stay until I’m asleep,I mean I don’t want to be alone”I murmur softly,”of course honey i get it”she murmurs pulling the chair up beside the bed.

I see her lower the lights,then she sits on the chair by the bed. I feel her squeeze my hand lightly, comforting again,motherly. Before I know it I’m out again like a light,trying to not think about all that got brought up tonight.


End file.
